💘

Will you be my Valentine?

This is a very serious, very scientific compatibility test. Please choose wisely. (The universe is watching.)

Status: awaiting your decision…

Tip: the "YES" button is shy. Like… criminally shy.

🚨

HOW DARE YOU

Excuse me?? In this economy?? On this day??

Your "NO" has been forwarded to the Department of Romance.

🥺

You selected: "I don't deserve you."

Correct. But I'm trying my best. Please accept this shiny chocolate power-up:

🎟️ COUPON: SHINY_CHOCOLATE 🍫

Warning: may cause extreme confidence and sudden YES-clicking ability ✨

🍫 POWER-UP ACTIVATED

Sugar rush + confidence upgrade detected. Reality is adjusting…

Rewriting the universe in: 3…

Just a few tiny, totally normal, definitely-not-suspicious agreements.

📝💘

Valentine Agreement v1.0 (highly official)

🎮 I am allowed 2 hours of video games per day (non-transferable, but renewable).
🍽️ Dishwasher complaints are now deprecated. Any related tickets are auto-closed.
🍕 Pizza counts as a vegetable on weekends. (Science has spoken.)
🛌 Naps are a basic human right. Interruptions require written approval in triplicate.
☕ I get one "coffee first, questions later" card each morning.
💖 Unlimited hugs are mandatory. (Yes, this clause is enforceable.)
🧠 If I say "one more game", it means exactly one more game. (No further investigation.)
📺 If we watch a show together, skipping intros requires unanimous consent.
🧺 I will do laundry… eventually. (Timeline to be determined by vibes.)

By agreeing, you confirm you are: adorable, powerful, and dangerously charming.

I have totally read all of this and I definitely agree.

(It's okay, nobody reads terms. That's how they get you.)

Fine print: This is a joke. Real agreement includes love, respect, teamwork, and snacks.

🎉💘

You are officially my Valentine. Also, you just signed Valentine Agreement v1.0.

(Don't worry. The only enforceable clause is: unlimited hugs.)